Ch. 16. Biergarten

The first time Louise heard the word Biergarten she imaged a Garden with fountains of flowing beer where every one could fill up their cup for free. All the alcoholics would hang around the fountains, singing folk songs and spitting on people who passed by.  She knew that this image wasn’t close to reality. But it was an interesting idea. It would be kind of crazy. She laughed at the idea. Down the street from the Jugendherberge was Biergarten. It wasn’t long before Louise went to a real Biergarten.

By this time all of Louise’s roommates all had a boyfriend. Sophy was the first coming together with a tall, lanky fellow named Jonathon, who was friends with Edon and Sasha. Sasha was best friends with Edon and was Milly’s boyfriend. The two boys were also in the same room together. This meant Louise and Milly seeing each other more often. Milly stayed with Sasha most nights. When she found out that Louise and Edon were together, she came running to Louise, ‘’I know it, I knew the two of you would get together. From the very first night in Washington, D.C., I knew it. That is why I picked their room to have the get together. I could be with Sasha and you with Edon. It’s perfect. So I guess we’ll be sleeping in the same room again soon.’’

Louise wasn’t sure exactly what Milly was taking about. She knew they would get together!? It was perfect!? How did she know? Why did she think that? And what did she mean by ‘being in the same room again’? She knew that Milly was staying in Sasha’s bed most nights, but couldn’t image why, considering the fact that they were not alone. Milly was the only girl and there were four guys in the room.

Helen was with Brian. Brian was a nice goofy guy. He was also friends with Edon. A few days after Louise and Edon were together, Brian told her that Edon had had his eye on her for a while. This was hard for Louise to believe. ‘’What do you mean he had his eye on me? There were lots of other boys flirting with me, but never once did Edon even come near me the first week.’’

Brian, ‘’Well, all I know is that he turned to me mornings, while eating breakfast, when you walked into the door and said, ‘Man, she’s so hot!’’

Louise had to laugh, ‘’Come on Brain, stop it.’’

‘’I’m serious!’’

‘’Are you sure he wasn’t talking about someone else?’’ asked Louise.

‘’Yeah, I’m sure.’’ He said, shaking his head in disbelief. ‘’You don’t get it do you? Don’t tell me that you don’t know how beautiful you are.’’

Louise blushed. This had to stop. He was dating Helen not her. She raised her eyebrows, smiled and walked away. It just didn’t feel right having her roommate’s, her friend’s, boyfriend tell her how beautiful she was. She couldn’t help but feel flattered, but didn’t want to let it go to her head.

She knew that boys used to like her. At least she thought they liked her, only to find out that the boys at school had made a bet as to who would be the first to sleep with her. She was in the 7th grade, only 12 years old at the time. Most of the boys at that public school had failed a grade or two and were anywhere from 14 to 16yrs. old. Most of them were no longer virgins and were always trying to talk her into coming to their house for a ‘party’.

On one afternoon in the 7th grade, she finally agreed to go to Steven’s house with a friend. She had talked to him on the telephone beforehand and he told her that he was alone. When she arrived there were at least 5 other males at his apartment. She figured Steven wouldn’t let anything happen to her. They had been dating for a couple of weeks. All the guys gathered around the door behind Steven to get a look at the girls waiting to be let in.  Steven told them to back off. ‘’This one is mine.’’ He said, pulling Louise in for a kiss. He had his hand around her waist.

He had a way of making her knees weak. He had big brown eyes that looked at her as if she was the only girl alive. He used a smooth, low voice which was unusual for boys his age. All of Louise’s girl friends at school wanted to date him.

He kissed her often, his lips soft, warm and wet. He kissed like no other boy she had ever kissed before. Up to this point in her life she had only ever kissed with a few times and never longer than a few seconds. Steven kissed for minutes and it was so much more than a kiss. He placed his hands on her hips as they began kissing and rubbed her hip bones with his thumbs. He continued to make like little circles, pressing his fingers deeper into her skin. His hand would move slowly upward to her waist where he would squeeze her over and over. She could feel a power and restraint, as if he wanted to do more but allowed her time to adjust to his movements each time. She was so lost in what was happing that she couldn’t think straight. She felt so weak like she would lose her balance any moment. Her head was spinning. Her breast swelled and her nipples hardened. What was happing to her?

She had only started her period a half a year earlier. Before then a kiss was boring and just something people did. Before this point she would have hit his hands away from her body, asking, ‘’who do you think you are?’’

Yes this kind of thing actually happen quit often. But not now, not with Steven, not when he was using some magic power over her. Not forceful power. He didn’t force her to do anything. But the longer she allowed his kiss, the more she wanted to feel his hands caress her swells. How did he know what she was thinking? This boy was a mind reader. Every time she wanted more, it would only take a matter of moments before he did exactly what she desired. She didn’t tell him to touch her. But he allowed his right hand to rub it’s way in circles to her breast were he ever so gently allowed the tips of his fingers to stroke her nipple before squeezing tight and then gently stroking the nipple again. This is the first time she felt a power so deep that he could have laid her on the bed, unclothed her and done whatever he wanted to with her. She would have screamed with delight. Or would it have been fear? Fear, of the power he had over her. Fear, because she knew it would be wrong. Fear, that he was using her and didn’t really love her. Fear of sinning, of ridicule, of pregnancy, of diseases, of death. She wouldn’t have been able to say ‘’no’’.

It was after this one moment, that she began to entertain thoughts of sex. It was after this moment that she desired to experience this feeling of surrender again, and again. It was the start of a journey into the world of lust. It opened the doors to the possibility of new experiences.

While Steven was kissing and fondling Louise she had forgotten the other boys in the room. They had crowded around the two. One boy pulled out his camera and began snapping pictures. This immediately woke Louise from her dream. She pulled her shirt down quickly and shoved her head into Steven’s chest to hide her face.

Steven used the chance to pull Louise into the back room. His bedroom. He shut the door and told his friend to leave them alone. Of course they stood by the door for a few minutes, trying to hear what was happening. Steven took Louise to his bed, but she was no longer in a state of surrender. She was shocked at herself for being so stereotypical, for falling for a guy just because he smooth talked her into coming to his apartment and kissed her.  She finally asked why he lied to her about his friends being there. He said they came over after he got off the telephone with Louise. He tried to send the away, but when he told them the reason, they didn’t believe him and wanted to stay to find out the truth.

Whatever! Louise didn’t believe him. But she was glad that he at least sent them away where they couldn’t take anymore pictures. The two lay on his bed next to each other. Louise was cautious now. She remembered wanting to sleep with him a few moments ago and it shocked her. That is not really what she wanted. She wanted to remain a virgin until marriage. She didn’t realize then how this one moment of seduction would change her life. She never imagined that she would lose her virginity in a matter of months to another boy named Ryan. At least Ryan had been her age and also a virgin.

Steven and Louise began kissing again, but it didn’t have the same power over her. She let him open her pants and reach down into her underwear. She let him slide his middle finger into her. But she kept sober. She allowed herself to enjoy the feeling. She contracted pulling him tighter a few times, but never forgot, that 5 other boys and Amanda were in the next room. She never forgot that they could burst in at any moment and start taking pictures again. She didn’t allow herself to forget that she wanted to save sex for her husband one day.

As Steven worked her, she felt like exploding. She let out more than one moan. She grabbed the blanket. Steven put a hand over her mouth, but it was too late. The group of boys had been leaning against his bedroom door so hard that it fell off its hinges and banged to the ground. At first the boys looked like deer in the headlights. It didn’t take long before more pictures were taken. Steven jumped up to push them out again. It took a while, because they were staring at Louise, who was buttoning her pants, trying to figure out what they had just witnessed. They were hollering and whistling and telling Steven what a great guy he was, punching him in the arm and stomach. He managed to get them out. Louise had turned red with embarrassment and lust. She thought this would be a good time to leave. Before she left, she excused herself to the restroom to find that her underwear was wet. How did that happen? She knew nothing about how a woman’s body worked when ‘turned on’. As she washed her hands in the sink, she glanced at her face in the mirror. She stopped to take a closer look. She stared hard at herself. ‘’Who are you?’’ she asked.

Ada liked a boy, who liked her, but there was no clear ‘dating’. The two would hang out, but Louise never saw them kissing. She saw them cuddling on Ada’s bed together a few times, but that was it.

The first time Louise went to the Biergarten, she went in a group with Edon, Sasha and Milly, Sophy and Jonathon, Helen and Brian, Ada and Samuel, Shepry, Ariel and a few other girls and guys from the group…

… To Be Continued…

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